Ballroom Dancing Lessons

Introductory Special Package: Three 30 minute private lessons, two group lessons, one party lesson...all for $25.00. I was sold! Surprisingly, Jeff was easily persuaded to join me for ballroom dancing lessons.

Married to a Non-Dancer

Being married 25 plus years to a non-dancer will oxidize the dancing shoes. Mine were definitely crusty and full of holes. I had closed the ballroom door years ago, but, now, peeking inside made me regret I had done so.

"Clayton, we're taking ballroom dancing lessons," I announced to my W.P. Cadet, "so we can dance at Plebe Parent Weekend!"

"Are you still married to Dad?" asked the now laughing son who knows his father well.

Lesson One:

We were greeted by our instructor, Monika from Germany. Her accent was the female version of Arnold Swartzaneger's. My pop-cultured husband clued into that connection immediately and had to continually bite his lip while the "step, slide, togezah...step, slide, togezah" waltz steps were counted by the Terminator-ess. She was very pleasant, and I thought we progressed well.

Lesson Two:

We didn't actually have time to practice, but remembered well the steps from the week prior. Monika added a twirl, and we were beginning to move forward. We weren't bound for "Dancing with the Stars" but were hopeful we would soon be able to manage the Plebe Parent Weekend Ball. Sadly, between Lesson Two and Three, we experienced a set-back as we attempted a waltz demo before friends and choked. Oops.

Lesson Three:

Despite Monika's strong encouragement to get us to the Group Lesson, our busy schedule kept us away. And thoughts of the Party Lesson, where experienced and beginners mingle, made my palms sweat.

The Bombshell

"So, Monika, if we want to continue with our lessons," I innocently asked at Lesson Three's conclusion," how much might we expect to pay?"

Monika pulled out the binder containing our file with the notes re: our progression (or..."OMG, this couple is hopelessly left-footed, this could take years") and began to share her ten lesson plan. The plan included some type of discount which I did not understand because I was intent on the bottom line of...$1700....

"Make your face show no surprise," I sternly warned myself, "Holy poop, that's like a school tuition payment!"

"We certainly have enjoyed these lessons," I politely responded, "And will get back with you after discussing this plan."

Thankful for Caller ID

I had to ignore Monika's calls for at least a week. I know we would have been proficient following the $1700 investment, but I had really just hoped for the Help-We-Have-A-Wedding-Coming-Soon plan with a price to match.

Besides, my pop-cultured husband had endured all the "step,slide,togezah" he was able.

Sorry, Monika from Germany, ballroom dancing as our new hobby was not to be.