Monday, May 4, 2009

Last School Lunch

Lots of 'lasts' will be appearing from now until August when Stuart packs his black Volvo to leave for college. I don't know why, but making the last school lunch is tons more sad than the graduation ceremony will be.

Maybe because it is a quiet, ordinary thing that could easily slip away unnoticed without fanfare. Graduation comes with music and speeches and diplomas. The last school lunch is packed quietly in its brown paper bag, gets quickly snatched from the counter, shoved into the back pack, and whisked out the door in the every day rush to school.

Every day.
Sadness comes when 'every day' becomes 'yesterday'.

Not being a fan of sentiment, Stuart would try to encourage me by saying, "Oh, Mom, quit living in the past."

My Stu
Stuart views the world from a very unique lens. He is not distracted by life's 'noise' and 'static', so he is free to see things the way they truly are. This is the quality that makes him really good at solving computer problems. It's also the quality that makes him the funniest person I know. Stuart is an avid people-watcher, and when every one else is distracted, Stuart notices the stuff no one else sees. His commentaries can make me laugh for days.

When he was in early grade school, Stuart wondered all Labor Day why Labor Day would be a holiday. The two ideas did not seem to match. I didn't know either, but I remember it was a fun day of being in our back yard. The boys climbed trees and caught a frog. That night, Stuart said, "I still don't know why they call it Labor Day, but it was a really good day."

This same guy is truly puzzled by people screaming for their sports teams while watching games on TV.
He wonders,"Why do you yell? They can't hear you."
He's right...but I still yell anyway.

After Stuart's first day of school, I inquired, "How was it?"
"It was okay. I think I liked it," was his little freckled face reply.

When I picked Stuart up from his second day of school, again I asked, "How was it?"
"Mom, it was okay," was his simple reply, " And you don't have to ask me that every day. It was okay. If anything changes, I'll let you know."

Things are changing. This morning I made my senior's last school lunch...

and it was not okay.

What 'lasts' have made you sad?


  1. This reminds me of the Baby Blues comic strip where she's making the mac and cheese and reminiscing..."Sometimes you stir the mac and cheese, sometimes it stirs you."

    I just put away the last of the size small tshirts into the Goodwill box over the weekend. My boys are growing up.

  2. Ok...that made me cry! My baby will be gone in 3 more years and it makes me sick just thinking about it. That chapter of my life will be closed forever and saddness overtakes me. I know that I will have a whole new life with my hubby but the thought of not having the last child at home makes me cry.

    May our hearts be filled with wonderful memories of our precious children who are growing into adults right before our very eyes.

    lots of ((hugs)) from one mom to another!

  3. Oh yeah, I don't want to think about it. My last took the SAT on Saturday, Jr. Prom on this Saturday, just more steps toward leaving for college... I have to remind myself to enjoy these moments instead of dreading the inevitable. I have noticed, though as they get older they ask for advice more. Finally realizing they really don't know it all. Ha

  4. What a very sweet post. Just this last weekend I did my "last" children's choir musical with the kids at our church. About one-third of the way through I got a catch in my throat and started to tear up. "Focus, focus, focus ..." I told myself, having way too much to do to zone out. I am sure there are going to be a lot more "lasts" between now and July, but then I get to enjoy the "firsts." And you will too. :)

  5. What a sweet, sweet post. You are an awesome mom and your boys are so blessed to have you as their mother.

    The last lunch really resonates with me. I draw a picture on my senior's sandwich baggie with a Sharpie every day, and he and his friends love to see what I've drawn. I will really miss that. I think he will too.

    Meg :)

  6. A last that made me sad --

    Spending her last birthday with my friend-who-was-more-like-a-sister, JaNoel. Her older daughter had just married and was contemplating starting a family; JaNoel wanted to learn to knit so she could make booties. My gift to her was yarn, needles, and a visit to her B & B in Hardy for 3 days so I could teach her to knit. She kept forgetting why she had to move the stitches from one needle to the other -- "Morphine tends to fuzz the brain," she told me. "I miss my brain way too much lately."

    It made me sad to have birthday cake with my bestest friend and not know that it was the last time; not know that she would move to heaven way too early, just 6 short months later -- 6 months to the day of that last birthday.

    Her grandson, who got his booties from me instead of his grandmother, will be 2 next month.

    Pooh. Now I'm all saddish. I think I'll go play in the dirt with some foliage and stuff.

    -- Cuz