Friday, April 17, 2009

Sr. Prom : To Be or Not To Be? (Prom Saga No. 1)

Senior Prom. A rite- of- passage in our society. For some the experience matches the expectations. For others, not so much.

Senior Prom 2008
Last year my oldest went to prom with a group of his best friends, stayed out all night complete with jumping into a pool fully clothed as the sun was rising over the picturesque Arkansas River ( how all proms should end). It wasn't over-hyped at our Hillcrest Cottage, so I think he was surprised at the fun he experienced. I got one picture out of him as he rushed out the door. Such is the life of a boy's mom.

Stairway to Heaven in '77
My senior prom was over-planned. I was on every committee in charge of it and, as chair of decorations, I worked non-stop for at least a month. High School Me was in the middle of all perceived fun, and my senior prom would never have been missed. On the down side, I was also in a relationship that had long lost its youthful fizz. My prom was over-hyped. No boy could have met my unrealistic prom expectations. I had an okay time.

Senior Prom To Be?
So, this week I'm having another conversation with Stuart the senior trying one last time to persuade him to attend his prom. Everyone has had their time to nag him. His friends have tried every angle, and so have I. The boy is simply not interested in going.
"Mom," Stuart said using his famous black and white observation skills. [These are the skills which make him "Stuart". These observation skills make him both the funniest person I have ever known and an awesome judge of character. I can always trust the Stu-o-meter. He immediately cuts through all the 'fat' of life and goes straight to the core.] He continued,"Why do I want to dress in clothes that I don't want to wear to go somewhere where everyone eats the same meal. Afterward, I would go to the same room as everyone else and listen to the same lame music with a group where half of the people I can't stand. Another fourth of the group I normally like but not when they are with the original half I don't like. The rest are my friends, and I shouldn't have to suffer through a prom just to be with my friends."

But,It's Your Senior Prom!
See what I mean? He has a special no b.s. detector. He can always see situations so clearly. It's why he is so good at helping me with computer problems. What can I say? The kid pretty much hit the nail on the head. But I can't tell him that so I said, "'s your senior prom!"
"Mom, why should I have to do something I don't want to do... just because society dictates that I should?"
"Stuart, you are everything I have ever trained you to be (He is an independent thinker, not swayed by the crowd, confident in his choices,and makes his own decisions)...and... I don't like it.
Senior Prom Not To Be
Half of me still wanted him to not miss his senior prom.
The other half was glad for him to be "Stuart".

Was Your Senior Prom Good...or Bad?
Did You Jump in a Pool, Lake, or Fountain?


  1. So I guess your son has no female friends he would like to go to the ball with?

  2. Lots of students don't go with dates, but, instead go in groups of friends.Everyone has had their turn to try to persuade him. The guy is *not* interested.
    He colors outside the lines.

  3. That is a tough one. I had a horrible date for prom and didn't have the best time, but the memories are still fun to call up from time to time. I like the comparison between the proms - great post! Let us know how it turns out!

  4. #1 son went to his senior prom
    ('07) with 7 "girlfriends". Had THE best time.
    My senior prom ('79) was with my now husband, no water involved but very fun.
    All you can do is hope he doesn't regret not going. Sounds like he knows who he is. Good for him.

  5. Jumping in pools and fountains (fully clothed, of course) sounds like infinitely more fun that going somewhere dressed in clothes you don't like, to eat the same meal as everyone else and listen to the same music with people you don't really like ....

    Vive la Senior Splash! :)

  6. My senior prom was WondERFUL but only b/c I went with a guy I REALLY liked and the relationship was new and exciting. It lasted for another year and a half and then it was over, and that was fine. :-)

    That said, I like how your boy Stu thinks. :-) He has a good head on his shoulders. You done good, mama!

  7. I didn't go to mine and honestly didn't regret it. My boyfriend didn't want to go. He became my husband and still passes on stuff like that. I made the choice to adjust early on. I came over from Shelly's after you told her that steaks were cooking on the grill. ; )

  8. I think I like Stuart...a lot! What a cool kid! I didn't attend my senior prom. At the time, it was very bad to go with a platonic friend so I stayed home. And not only stayed home but handed nosegays and boutonnieres to all my classmates because I worked at the local flower store. My OS went to Prom with a girl last year, her Prom and hated it. Everyone was "going at it," as he put it and his date (the girl who invited him) basically ignored him to be with her friends. It was miserable and NOT even his Prom. Our OS have something called Protocol which I will be blogging about next week more than likely. I always love reading your stories!

  9. i loved my senior prom and my junior prom and my husband's senior prom and the prom i served at in 10th grade. but i loved school, every bit of it. it's amazing to me now that i homeschool. because even though i really loved that time, i realize that it was all sort of silly and meaningless.

    "what about prom" is one of the most frequently asked questions when someone finds out i homeschool. i guess my kids will go if they get asked or they won't. it won't matter.

  10. It sounds like Stuart has a good head on his shoulders! Continue to celebrate his wisdom and individuality!

  11. I jumped into NOTHING! I did not want to mess up my giant HAIR!