Sprint Through the End

I ran track in high school, so I really know what it means to sprint through (not to) the finish line. This Mom Race has been long and hard... and challenging and fun.

Many people may see the line ahead and say, "Oh, the race is almost over, I can slow down now."

Winners and losers. Champions and participants. It's the end which separates the runners into categories.

Only one more of these after this one:



No slowing down for this mom! No coasting on past victories allowed. It is time to get my second wind, to dig down deep, to run with purpose.

And... to lean over and grab my knees, to clasp my arms behind my head, to gasp for air and feel the pain... after the finish line is passed.

I want to run with no regrets, to know that I gave it everything I had to give.

Broken Bone and Shattered Dreams

This is how the game ( and season) ended for #9. It was a touchdown stopping leap... and a clean break through the clavicle.

Big Waves and Peeling Paint

Process. I need time in life to process. Life hits so fast that often I don't fully understand events and the depth to which those events have affected me. There are layers buried beneath the clean, shiny surface, like the ten plus multi-colored paint layers on Hillcrest Cottage's 87 year old woodwork.

The Summer I lived in Hawaii, we ventured to Makapu'u Beach, known for its world-class body surfing. Five minutes. That's all this Arkansas college girl lasted in the water at Makapu'u. The waves were 6 feet tall and very strong. The first wave knocked me down pounding my face into the sand. While recovering and grabbing some air, the second one was already pulling me outward. Glancing over my shoulder, I was horrified to see a wave taller than myself anxious to devour me again. For several minutes the sequence continued as I struggled to make my way back to beach towel safety.

Life can be waves hitting and pounding relentlessly one after another. I need 'towel time' to ask myself, "What just happened? How did I survive that?'

The Summer of 2010 was the hottest in recorded history. The heat for me was more than rising mercury; it was a landmark time, a piling of stones to remember. Part of the remembering is the thankfulness for how God pulled off a couple more miracles. We stubbornly believed Him for big things... and He said, "Yes." Yet...

... the 'yes' didn't come without the pulling and pounding and gasping for air.

There was struggling.

I'm glad to be on this towel. I'm glad to be thinking about a past event, no longer caught up in its emotion.

This morning I am on Hillcrest Cottage's porch with my eyes closed, listening to the gentle wind making its way through the trees. Mac the Labradoodle naps by my feet. Lucy, too young to appreciate the morning quiet has been banished to a nap inside. The hummingbirds have had their last summer feeding frenzy. They are gone to Mexico, and the feeder hangs silently. Occasionally a yellow leaf or two will float slowly to the ground. A signal of summer's last days.

The heat is gone, and I am left with the promise of the beautiful Autumn weather we Arkansans celebrate each year... complete with pumpkins, festivals, and Friday night stadium lights.

For everything there is a season and a time and purpose for everything under heaven. I know there will be more waves and heat and struggling to believe... but... for this morning... there is only the blue jay cawing, fresh air to be taken in, hope revived, and Bifferdoodle coffee in my mug.

Football Player's Letter to God

Dear God,

I have sweat, trained, listened to my coaches, learned tons of difficult receiver routes, and have visualized success. I have endured spring training, have run drills until I wanted to puke, and have survived two- a-days in 105 degree plus heat. I have completed all of my daily work-outs, never cutting corners when the coach wasn't looking, sometimes staying late to do a bit extra. I have kept a PMA through difficult circumstances. I have tried my hardest to play through pain.

But, despite all my effort, I am discouraged.

First of all, I sprained my ankle the day before our first game. It is still painful and swollen. Sometimes my leg just quits working because of the stress. Secondly, yesterday was a very bad practice where nothing went right. The voice inside my head yelled at me to give up and quit. It told me that I would always be a rotten football player. When the football hit my hand, I think I broke my finger. This morning I couldn't tie my own shoe. I had to take my mom's car to school because I wouldn't have been able to shift my Jeep's gears. My finger is purple, and it really hurts. Oh, and one more thing, I have poison ivy all over my leg and have no idea where that come from.

How can a hand that does not bend catch a football?

More than my ankle and finger, I see the dream of my entire childhood slipping away. All I have ever wanted to do was to play high school football. I grew up watching my big brother and his teammates that I admired so much. I was the kid in the end zone playing my own game while watching the real one. I told myself I would be on that field one day. I saw myself catching passes, making tackles, and running the ball over the line.

Now it is my time. Time to turn dreaming into reality. I'm a junior, and the season is now.

I'm so discouraged, God. The mountain seems to grow, not shrink. It would be so much easier to quit.

And, besides all of the above, it just seems that evil people prosper. It just seems like You bless the bad guys. You know the ones: the players who are cocky and break all the rules and give our team a bad rep. The guys who tell fellow players, "You suck. You should quit." God, You know who I am talking about. I try to have intergrity, to do the right thing, to encourage those around me. It seem there is no reward for this!

Life just really sucks right now.

A Discouraged Foootball Player



Dear Football Player,

Even though it doesn't seem like it, I have seen all of which you have spoken, the good and the bad.

I've seen the faith you have had during those very dark August days when just putting on a jersey didn't seem possible. I worked some miracles to get you back for another year in your very expensive private school. Everyone who knew your situation, even your own parents, were amazed that you could believe the unseen so clearly!

It made me smile to see your faith in Me!

If I could do all that I have done, don't you think I can heal an ankle and a finger? Remember who I am!

And, about those bad guys, I want you to think about how beautifully a diamond shines against a black background.

Don't quit, Discouraged Football Player. It is always the darkest just before dawn.

Here's something I asked my friend Isaiah to write down for me a few years back. He wrote it to encourage you!

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary (football player who wants to quit),
And to him who lacks might (the will to overcome difficult circumstances) He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly (drop passes, run wrong routes, sprain their ankle, break their fingers),
Yet...
Those who wait for the Lord ( invite Him to help them overcome, ask Him to join the team)
Will gain new strength (mentally and physically);
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah 40: 28-31)


Football Player, I am with you at every practice, game, and in your mind where the discouraging voice speaks. I'm the One who created in you the ability and desire to play football! Surely, we will walk through this valley of discouragement together. The top of the mountain where you dream to reach is very far right now, but You are never alone.

I love you so much,

God

Labor Day Events

Many things have been going on at Hillcrest Cottage the past month or so. Soon, it will be time to process and blog... until then, a few pics tell some of the story.



Beautiful Lucy Continues to Learn the Hillcrest Cottage Life: Four Month old Lucy can 'sit', 'shake', and tell me when she needs to go outside... most of the time. She also knows how to steal naps on my bed.





Davis Turns 17!





Number Nine Begins the Football Season





Cadet Kinley's 'GF Surprise' Labor Day Visit: We love this incredible GF very much... and... all the more because it draws this guy home more often.





Kinley Boys Home for Labor Day: Every mom knows how this feels to have everyone together... even if only for a weekend. These three guys are different in every way... except for their awesome-ness!

Daily life is definitely full of up and down struggles that can sometimes suck away all energy. It is important to jump in a helicopter and get the bird's eye big picture view. That's what this post has been about doing... and... I have to say... it is an encouragement to my own heart to see these images and be reminded that Hillcrest Cottage Life is a very blessed one.

An Untold August Tale

One day soon, I might be able to write this story...

until then, I can only say,

"This guy is my hero."

Random August Snapshots

Today it was 109 degrees, according to the Expedition's thermometer. For some crazy reason, our family decided to climb our local treasure: Pinnacle Mountain.

Climbing Pinnacle is a yearly family tradition. We like to do it in the summer on the hottest day we can experience. Ha... not really about the "hottest" part, but it has actually turned out that way several times. Once we had friends visiting from England, and we almost killed them... they had never experienced such brutal temps!

As each Kinley boy would turn 5, he could join the fun. My dad used to hike up the mountain in the 40's. I have many, many Pinnacle memories of my own from grade school to the present. There are stories of locals who hike up the mountain as many times in a row as they are old (50 times on the 50th birthday, etc.). Once or twice a year is enough for me!

I can only remember one other time in my life when it has been as hot as this week is predicted to be. Tomorrow will be 106, Wednesday 104 and Thursday 102. The heat is bad... and so are the Kinleys... for making it to the top!



A strange visitor on Hillcrest Cottage's porch.



The funniest napping position... ever.




Why do I feel the need to justify getting some new walking shoes?



The new ones!!! And with them comes a commitment to begin training for the Little Rock Marathon (March 2011). Training begins in September... I'm walking, not running.



Stuart is bonding with Lucy before heading back to college on Friday.

July at Hillcrest Cottage

Summer is supposed to be slow and easy... especially in Arkansas where the heat and humidity can become quite oppressive. When humidity levels go down, every one's spirits brighten.

This summer has been anything but slow and easy. Stuart unexpectedly fell into an "everyday" job doing odd chores on a friend's horse farm. Being the breakfast maker and packer of lunches means no sleeping in for either of us. Davis, too, has been trying to make an appearance at early morning football work-outs.

My West Point Cadet being home for three weeks was a very pleasant routine breaker. Now, a new puppy has me tip-toeing around the house at puppy nap time and making frequent trips outside for housebreak training (which is going quite well, BTW!)



Meet Goldendoodle Lucy!

Last weekend I hosted an Art Sale of my own creating. I invited 15 artists to display and sell their work. Soon my Hillcrest Cottage was torn up and full of oil paintings and photography... everywhere. It was great fun but not enough of a financial return for the hours of preparation to ever repeat. It was wild. Use the imagination.



Closest moment to an "I Love Lucy" episode was when a 90 year old grandmother sporting three inch heels and a matching Queen Elizabeth-style handbag on her arm was found descending my very uneven and steep side-garden stairs. Unfortunately for her, she had come to see her grandson's work which, I had the unpleasant task of informing her, was... UP my also very steep and uneven basement stairs.

Jeff simply gave me "the look".



When all the furniture was back in place and the empty Coke bottles from the vintage coolers were taken to the trash. (I was even too tired to recycle or save the bottle caps as requested by one guest artist.), I told myself with a Thomas Edison-like confidence, " I just discovered one more way NOT to tell my art."



I've never been the type to parade myself and children to the pool each day. But, I do allow myself the summer luxury of wearing colorful flip flops, running shorts, and a t-shirt. It's the closest I will get to the Redneck Riviera... or any other vacation... this season.

So... I will sip some more coffee and treat myself to a few extra minutes under the front porch fan. Tonight I will celebrate the symphony of crickets and dream of the screened-in sleeping porch I will have one day.

June's Coming, Going, & Staying

Coming: Cadet Kinley, on leave for 3 weeks, greets GF arriving from Colorado!



Going: Jeff, Davis, and awesome guys boarding their plane to London where they will spend a week in rural England encouraging fellow teenagers in local schools.




Staying: Mac the Labradoodle demonstrates "there's no place like home" in Hillcrest Cottage.

"Mr. Kinley, Tear Down that Wall!" - Part Three

The plaster on Hillcrest Cottage's wall between Kitchen and Dining Room seemed to be in excellent condition. There were no major cracks, damage, or any signs that would indicate the need to cover the wall in a more modern gypsum board.

Hmmm... we wondered.

"Oh, look at these water spots on the flowered wallpaper, " observed Mr. Kinley.

There must have been some sort of water problem, but above is our bedroom with no source of water. That certainly didn't make sense.

More tearing. More revelation.

The 'water' spots began not at the top of the Kitchen wall but in the middle.

Hmmm... we wondered once more.



Notice the 'water' spots appear to be not water spots at all, but coffee drippings flowing down from a divot in the plaster. The divot is where part of the green leaf is missing. It's obvious that a coffee cup had been thrown across the Butler's Pantry!

The Great Coffee Revolt of 1946 sent overactive Kinley imaginations into overdrive.

Did the second owner (H.G. and Birdie who purchased the house in 1941) anger a servant by tapping his foot buzzer one too many times? Did something more gruesome happen after the coffee anger management incident that would necessitate a cover-up? Or, perhaps Birdie had wanted to fly the coop?

The secret had been hidden for 74 years... Hillcrest Cottage alone knows the true story.

And... as all other Hillcrest Cottage stories have gone, only part of the truth will ever be known...

the rest is mystery.

"Mr. Kinley, Tear Down that Wall!" - Part Two

"Oh, my gosh! Look at this!" exclaimed Mr. Kinley taking a break from his wall demolition.

A quick explanation is in order. Most of Hillcrest Cottage's walls are plaster. This wall between the Kitchen and Dining Room had modern wall board placed on top of the plaster, a standard practice in lieu of much-needed plaster repair.

I hurried into the very dusty kitchen and gasped out loud upon viewing this:



CLASSIC 1940'S BLUE HYDRANGEA WALLPAPER!!!!



The hydrangea pattern upclose:



And... underneath the 1940's paper was a classic 1930's nod to the Orient complete with apple blossoms and birds in cages and sparkled art deco flourishes. The 1940's paper was firmly pasted upon the 30's paper, so a complete pattern was difficult to obtain, and the colors were very muted.



Underneath the 30's paper, and much more difficult to see, another layer of 1920's paper which seemed to match a swatch of 20's linoleum previously discovered on the kitchen floor.



Of course, anyone who had renovated an old home knows that it eventually all comes down to some shade of green. Notice the horse hair incorporated in the plaster on the plaster's right hand side:



This shade of green is actually going to be the the new kitchen's wall color. Full circle back to the original color.

I think the bank president's wife would approve.

Tomorrow... I will reveal : "So, that's why they covered the plaster wall with gypsum board!"

"Mr. Kinley, Tear Down that Wall!" - Part One

Once upon a time, Hillcrest Cottage had three rooms (well, there were more rooms but only of these three are we now speaking): Kitchen, Butler's Pantry, and Dining Room. The Kitchen was very small with access to both a servant's secret stairway leading to the upstairs and a servant's exterior back entrance. The Butler's Pantry was equally small, but well- equipped with a small, modern gas heater for chilly weather (the white porcelain type that I had previously only seen in 1950's bathrooms) and a window.

The Dining Room was high-tech with a servant buzzer placed strategically on the floor at the man's end of the dining room table. Such was the life of a 1920's-era bank president and his family. In the age before TV, I have trouble imagining how the cook and waiters in white coats would spend the time in the small Butler's Pantry in between foot-buzzer summonings.

With the passing of the servant-era, the first wall came down, and the Kitchen and Butler's Pantry were united as one room. An educated guess is that this happened in the 1960's with floor evidence indicating a free-standing stove with no built-ins.

The cabinets, cook top stove and built-in oven were a 1970's update. At this time, the Butler's Pantry window was made into a french door leading onto the hip and new 70's 'deck'. Everyone was building a deck in the 70's! I can hear Lynard Skynard amidst the sounds of hammering and saws right now.

Hillcrest Cottage became the Kinleystead in 2000. By this time the hipster deck had seen its better days. Icy oak limbs during the fierce 2001 ice storm brought the deck crashing down, and, since that time, the Kinleys have had the infamous 'Door to Nowhere'. One of my favorite stupid comments by visitors is, "Why do you have a door that goes nowhere? You should build a deck!"

A typical response is, "We don't want a deck. That's the door through which we invite visitors- who- ask- stupid- questions to exit." This comment usually brings a chilling silence to those who don't understand our quirky sense of humor.

One day...I dream of a door which leads to a screened-in porch. One day.

Hillcrest Cottage has had major traffic flow problems. Whenever we entertain...which is sometimes 2,3,4 times a week, guests entering the cottage flow straight into the Kitchen straight to the food prep area causing the cook much frustration. I have tried everything to entice guests out of the Kitchen and into the Dining Room which included moving the Dining Room table into the Living Room. But... no one would flow!!!

Year 2010: "Mr. Kinley, tear down that wall!!!"



Come back tomorrow... the story is only beginning. I'll explain what caused Mr. Kinley to say, "Oh my gosh... look at this!" and "So, this what they were trying to hide?"

Twenty One

Clayton is twenty one today. And I have decided to not post an embarrassing photo from his childhood.

I wonder where the time has gone but wonder more at how he survived having me as a mom. From the carrots he first spewed out of his mouth to the days of cowboy boots and hats to the Legos I sucked up in my vacuum cleaner to all the bugs we examined to the books we read out loud to struggling through spelling lists to struggling through friendships to discovering the power of football to discovering the power of girls to seeing a great goal achieved to hanging on tightly to that same goal until it becomes complete. I have been there. I never had a career or a job or weekly tennis matches or any social-climbing activities, so I could be there. His life became my life.

I'm sorry he had to be "the experiment", as the first-born is doomed to be. I'm sorry for all the dumb-mom moments along the way. I realize now I had a lot of growing up to do as well. I would do many things differently now...but there's a lot about which I have zero regrets.

I have been in his life through every milepost, and it kills me to not be with him to celebrate his 21st birthday.

Meanwhile...back at the Kinleystead...reminders that the clock still ticks.



Thanks, senior girls who write on obnoxious sophomore guys' cars wrongly parked in the senior's parking lot, for this reminder:




"Two more years".

I know how fast these two years will pass.

Random May Happenings

I can't remember planting this...but...welcome to my garden anyway.




Have I talked enough about how much Mac the Labradoodle is loved? Anyone that doesn't think she is the cutest dog ever...I pity you.




Good-by Freshman Year of College.




I love it that these Black-Eyed Susans who are drought resistant and indigenous to Arkansas decided on their own to line my fence this season. Thank you... score one for the lazy gardener!




Camera Hijacking by 16 Year Old Boy...enough said.

FYI: Jesus is Coming Back This Week

Today on a regular Wednesday, I was doing my daily correspondence, working on my Etsy site, and cleaning middle son's room. His freshman year of college is over, and he arrives back home tomorrow.

A knock. A "someone's here" bark from Mac the Labradoodle.

I walked to the front door to see who may be stopping by at such an odd time.

A package...not so unusual. My husband frequently receives parcels for various reasons.

But...this box was different!

That "FTD" logo really caught my eye...especially when I realized that MY name was on the label.




Inside the box was this:




With a card that said this:




Time out: It must be understood that my firstborn son is an incredible person, but gift-giving has not been his greatest strength. Once, two years ago, I received a candy bar for my birthday...which was incredible. I ate every bite and have never forgotten it. However, his modus operandi has always been: "I was going to get you a present, but...." Years ago I had accepted it would always be this way...which is fine.

But, today was different and surprising! Seriously...what mother's heart wouldn't be melted after reading a note like this...written by a West Point cadet...in the middle of finals... who is struggling academically. It is a priceless gift I will never forget...right up there with the candy bar.



So...FYI: This is a sign of the Apocalypse. Just thought my readers might want to prepare.

P.S. My husband reminded me that for Christmas '09 Clayton had given to me military strength pepper spray. How could I have forgotten that? My soldier's love language is keeping the people he loves "safe".

By the River with Mac

"Hey lazy!"




"Huh?"




"River Trail time!!!"




"Hurry up! Walk Faster!"




Over the bridge.




Still havin' fun, but working up a sweat.




Down to the shore.




Sniffing shoreline trash.




The Arkansas River.